"It's not up to me to lose weight!": She responds to the fat-shaming attacks she's been subjected to

Harmony Albertini, author and content creator, is subjected daily to comments about her body and injunctions to "get herself together." Rather than remain silent, she chose to respond directly, in a speech that went viral: it's not up to her to lose weight, but for the world to stop discriminating.

"It's not up to me to lose weight."

Invited by the media outlet Filtre, Harmony Albertini explains that fatphobia isn't simply a matter of "opinions," but a form of discrimination that impacts every aspect of life: public spaces, work, health, and intimacy. She reminds us that being fat doesn't automatically equate to being unhealthy, and asks for one simple thing: that people inform themselves before judging. Faced with messages like "you're too fat" or "you're the problem," she reverses the perspective: it's not bodies that should conform, but rather the norms that need to stop punishing people who don't fit the mold.

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Humiliations that lurk everywhere

In her account, the content creator describes a daily life riddled with obstacles: chairs that are too narrow in restaurants, airplane seats that are too tight, attractions or theaters where she doesn't quite "fit in." She explains that she is constantly told that it's up to her to "adapt"—to the available space, to the stares, to the comments—as if the world weren't meant to accommodate all bodies.

Violence is often most brutal in the private sphere: men tell her they enjoy her company, but refuse any relationship until she loses weight. These statements encapsulate a double rejection: fatphobic and misogynistic.

A well-documented systemic discrimination

Harmony's message is grounded in statistical reality. Research cited by Gabrielle Deydier shows that an obese woman is up to eight times less likely to be hired, and an obese man three times less likely, all other things being equal. Salaries are lower, promotions are rarer, and fatphobia remains commonplace in companies. Even in fashion, where inclusive runway shows have been increasingly applauded, the "return to thinness," fueled by the use of Ozempic and similar products, marginalizes plus-size models, relegating body positivity to a mere "publicity stunt."

"The problem isn't our bodies."

By refusing to make weight loss a condition of her happiness, Harmony Albertini challenges the idea that thinness is a prerequisite for love, success, or respect. She reminds us that chasing an "ideal body" can destroy more than "improve" a life, especially when this pursuit is presented as a moral obligation.

Her message is crystal clear: our bodies don't need to be forgiven for existing. What needs to change isn't our silhouettes, but the structures – from cramped seats to discriminatory recruiters – and the attitudes that continue to believe that humiliating fat people is an opinion and not an act of violence.

Fabienne Ba.
Fabienne Ba.
I'm Fabienne, a writer for The Body Optimist website. I'm passionate about the power of women in the world and their ability to change it. I believe women have a unique and important voice to offer, and I feel motivated to do my part to promote equality. I do my best to support initiatives that encourage women to stand up and be heard.

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