Your head thinks "no," but your mouth says "yes." It's not just politeness or good manners. It's not just your kindness speaking. This is why the word "yes" comes out naturally even when you want to curl up under your duvet with a fleece and a cozy hot water bottle.<\/p>\n
You accept invitations to parties even though you'd much rather binge on chocolate in front of Netflix, and you rearrange your cozy night-in plans to attend the leaving party of a colleague you've only met once in your entire career. Even after you've had your fill of social interaction for the day, you can't bring yourself to decline an invitation. You say "yes" automatically, without giving it much thought. Deep down, you know you'll regret your decision, but the word "no" isn't in your vocabulary. It almost sounds disrespectful coming from you.<\/p>\n
You might come up with some rather lame excuses, like saying your cat is unwell or your mother dropped by unexpectedly. Yet, you're constantly dedicated, and that's neither an admission of weakness nor a sign of excessive kindness. You have the "yes" syndrome, or rather, you suffer from the Abilene paradox. Rest assured, it's neither pathological nor contagious. "A situation where a group makes a decision<\/a> that no one truly wants, but that everyone accepts to preserve social peace and\/or because they believe they're the only one who thinks differently. They then side with the... supposed majority,"<\/em> explains psychologist Claire Petin in an insightful Instagram video.<\/p>\n A concrete example: you have absolutely no desire to repeat your hypocritical company's awkward Secret Santa, but you give a collective "yes" to maintain group harmony. The Abilene paradox is typical of the professional world and of adolescence. You prefer to say "yes," even if it irritates you, rather than become the black sheep of the group. <\/p>\n\n