{"id":431077,"date":"2026-01-13T07:17:35","date_gmt":"2026-01-13T06:17:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/?p=431077"},"modified":"2026-01-13T07:16:45","modified_gmt":"2026-01-13T06:16:45","slug":"vous-excusez-trop-voici-ce-que-cela-pourrait-reveler","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/psycho\/confiance-en-soi\/youre-making-too-many-excuses-heres-what-it-could-reveal-431077","title":{"rendered":"Are people telling you that you apologize too much? Here&#39;s what that could reveal."},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Saying &quot;sorry&quot; is a common social reflex, but for some people, apologizing becomes almost a tic. They apologize for everything: being two minutes late, a trivial remark, or even when they haven&#39;t done anything wrong. As psychologist Yves-Alexandre Thalmann explains, as reported by <a href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologies.com\/Moi\/Se-connaitre\/gens-excuses-traits-caractere-alertent-psys-55575\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Psychologies magazine<\/a> , this tendency often has its roots in childhood.<\/p>\n<h2> An emotional void to fill<\/h2>\n<p> According to psychoanalyst Pascal Neveu, constant apologies can be a sign of narcissistic fragility. Those affected struggle to feel loved for who they are; they seek to maintain the affection of others through their apologies. As children, they may have been overprotected or, conversely, lacked validation, which has instilled in them the idea that they must &quot;earn&quot; the love of others.<\/p>\n<h2> A tyrannical superego<\/h2>\n<p> Psychoanalysis also evokes the notion of the superego, this inner moral authority that dictates what one &quot;should&quot; do. An overly severe superego leads to unjustified apologies, as if every &quot;imperfect&quot; thought or desire were a fault. These individuals live in a constant tension between the desire to be free and the fear of being reprehensible.<\/p>\n<h2> An illusion of control<\/h2>\n<p> Finally, according to Yves-Alexandre Thalmann, offering apologies without justification can provide a paradoxical form of power: by declaring themselves responsible for everything, these individuals remain at the center of the situation. It&#39;s an unconscious way of reassuring themselves, of giving meaning to what they cannot control.<\/p>\n<h2> How to break the cycle<\/h2>\n<p> Psychologists recommend learning to verify the legitimacy of your apologies. Before saying &quot;sorry,&quot; ask yourself: <em>&quot;Did I really hurt anyone?&quot;<\/em> or <em>&quot;Am I responsible for what happened?&quot;<\/em> If the answer is no, there&#39;s no need to apologize. Breaking free from this habit also means freeing yourself from excessive self-judgment\u2014and relearning to be as kind to yourself as you are to others.<\/p>\n<p>Saying &quot;sorry&quot; isn&#39;t inherently bad, but when apologizing becomes automatic, it often betrays a deeper unease, fueled by a fear of displeasing others, excessive inner demands, or an unconscious need for control. Becoming aware of this mechanism is already the first step toward change.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Saying &quot;sorry&quot; is a common social reflex, but for some people, apologizing becomes almost a tic. They apologize...","protected":false},"author":8394,"featured_media":431079,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"disable_msn":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1784],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-431077","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-confiance-en-soi"],"image":{"medium":["https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/On-vous-dit-que-vous-vous-excusez-trop-_-Voici-ce-que-cela-pourrait-reveler-200x113.jpg",200,113,true],"large":["https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/On-vous-dit-que-vous-vous-excusez-trop-_-Voici-ce-que-cela-pourrait-reveler-500x281.jpg",500,281,true]},"custom":{"td_video":"","featured_image":"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/On-vous-dit-que-vous-vous-excusez-trop-_-Voici-ce-que-cela-pourrait-reveler.jpg","author":{"name":"L\u00e9a Michel","avatar":"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/1721220128171-96x96.jpg"},"categories":[{"term_id":1784,"name":"Self-confidence","slug":"confiance-en-soi","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":1890,"taxonomy":"category","description":"<p>The Self-confidence section of The Body Optimist helps you build self-esteem day by day, whatever your body, age or background. Practical exercises, clear explanations of patterns like imposter syndrome and stories from people who learned to speak up: everything you need to move forward without waiting to \u201cearn\u201d the right to feel good about yourself.<\/p>\n<h2>What you\u2019ll find in the Self-confidence section<\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Exercises<\/strong>: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/psycho\/confiance-en-soi\/small-challenges-believe-more-in-your-abilities-446961\">small challenges that help you believe in your abilities<\/a> and habits to keep that confidence going over time.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Patterns to outsmart<\/strong>: imposter syndrome, feelings of inferiority, the urge to apologize constantly, trouble saying no.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Emotions<\/strong>: high sensitivity, intense feelings, negative thoughts and an inner critic that\u2019s far too harsh.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Other people\u2019s eyes<\/strong>: handling comments about your weight, braving the pool or group photos, quitting the comparison game.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Personal stories<\/strong>: women and men who regained their confidence after harassment, illness or disability.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2>How can you build self-confidence day to day?<\/h2>\n<p>Self-confidence grows mostly through action: every small win is concrete proof of what you can do, far more convincing than a positive affirmation repeated in the mirror. A few strategies psychologists often recommend:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Set modest but regular challenges, then write down what you accomplished.<\/li>\n<li>Notice your inner critic and ask yourself whether you\u2019d ever talk to a friend that way.<\/li>\n<li>Swap automatic apologies for thanks (\u201cthanks for your patience\u201d instead of \u201csorry I\u2019m late\u201d).<\/li>\n<li>Accept a compliment with a simple thank-you, without downplaying it.<\/li>\n<li>Limit comparisons, especially on social media.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2>Our approach to self-confidence<\/h2>\n<p>Here, self-confidence isn\u2019t reserved for people who are thin, young or \u201cperfect\u201d: it doesn\u2019t have to wait for weight loss or for some supposed flaw to be fixed. Our articles favor concrete tools over promises of overnight transformation, and remind you that low self-esteem isn\u2019t a personal failure. When distress sets in (anxiety, dark thoughts, isolation), a psychologist or therapist can support you: our content is here to inform, not to replace professional care.<\/p>\n<h2>Where to start<\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/psycho\/confiance-en-soi\/imposter-syndrome-an-invisible-mechanism-undermining-confidence-434010\">Imposter syndrome explained<\/a>: understanding the mechanism that makes you doubt your own achievements.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/psycho\/confiance-en-soi\/saying-yes-to-please-others-a-psychologist-explains-why-you-cant-set-boundaries-429884\">Why you struggle to set boundaries<\/a>: a psychologist decodes the habit of saying yes just to please.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/psycho\/confiance-en-soi\/youre-making-too-many-excuses-heres-what-it-could-reveal-431077\">Apologizing too much<\/a>: what this reflex may reveal, and how to assert yourself without aggression.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/psycho\/confiance-en-soi\/believing-oneself-to-be-talentless-how-to-appease-that-critical-little-voice-436991\">Quieting your inner critic<\/a>: what to do when you\u2019re convinced you have no talent.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/psycho\/confiance-en-soi\/harassed-by-comments-about-her-weight-she-explains-how-she-regained-her-confidence-445030\">Rebuilding confidence after weight comments<\/a>: one woman explains how she stopped letting other people\u2019s remarks define her.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2>Frequently asked questions<\/h2>\n<h3>What\u2019s the difference between self-confidence and self-esteem?<\/h3>\n<p>Self-esteem is the value you place on yourself as a person; self-confidence is the belief that you can act and succeed in a given situation. You can feel competent at work while judging yourself harshly as a person. Both can be built, often together, through action and self-compassion.<\/p>\n<h3>What is imposter syndrome?<\/h3>\n<p>Imposter syndrome is the persistent feeling that you don\u2019t deserve your success, along with the fear of being \u201cfound out.\u201d First described by psychologists Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes, who called it the impostor phenomenon, it isn\u2019t a mental illness but a common thought pattern, including among highly competent people. Listing your achievements objectively and talking about it helps defuse it.<\/p>\n<h3>How can you help a friend who lacks self-confidence?<\/h3>\n<p>Listen without minimizing what she feels, point out specific qualities rather than vague compliments, encourage her to try things without doing them for her, and avoid comparisons. If her distress lasts or gets worse, gently encourage her to talk to a mental health professional.<\/p>\n<p>Keep exploring: find all our <a href=\"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/psycho\">psychology topics<\/a>, learn to see your body differently with <a href=\"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/psycho\/bodypositive\">Body positive<\/a>, explore family life in <a href=\"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/psycho\/vie-de-maman\">Parenting<\/a>, and build healthier relationships in <a href=\"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/sexo\/vie-amoureuse\">Love life<\/a>.<\/p>","parent":6138,"count":380,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":1784,"category_count":380,"category_description":"<p>The Self-confidence section of The Body Optimist helps you build self-esteem day by day, whatever your body, age or background. Practical exercises, clear explanations of patterns like imposter syndrome and stories from people who learned to speak up: everything you need to move forward without waiting to \u201cearn\u201d the right to feel good about yourself.<\/p>\n<h2>What you\u2019ll find in the Self-confidence section<\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Exercises<\/strong>: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/psycho\/confiance-en-soi\/small-challenges-believe-more-in-your-abilities-446961\">small challenges that help you believe in your abilities<\/a> and habits to keep that confidence going over time.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Patterns to outsmart<\/strong>: imposter syndrome, feelings of inferiority, the urge to apologize constantly, trouble saying no.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Emotions<\/strong>: high sensitivity, intense feelings, negative thoughts and an inner critic that\u2019s far too harsh.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Other people\u2019s eyes<\/strong>: handling comments about your weight, braving the pool or group photos, quitting the comparison game.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Personal stories<\/strong>: women and men who regained their confidence after harassment, illness or disability.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2>How can you build self-confidence day to day?<\/h2>\n<p>Self-confidence grows mostly through action: every small win is concrete proof of what you can do, far more convincing than a positive affirmation repeated in the mirror. A few strategies psychologists often recommend:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Set modest but regular challenges, then write down what you accomplished.<\/li>\n<li>Notice your inner critic and ask yourself whether you\u2019d ever talk to a friend that way.<\/li>\n<li>Swap automatic apologies for thanks (\u201cthanks for your patience\u201d instead of \u201csorry I\u2019m late\u201d).<\/li>\n<li>Accept a compliment with a simple thank-you, without downplaying it.<\/li>\n<li>Limit comparisons, especially on social media.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2>Our approach to self-confidence<\/h2>\n<p>Here, self-confidence isn\u2019t reserved for people who are thin, young or \u201cperfect\u201d: it doesn\u2019t have to wait for weight loss or for some supposed flaw to be fixed. Our articles favor concrete tools over promises of overnight transformation, and remind you that low self-esteem isn\u2019t a personal failure. When distress sets in (anxiety, dark thoughts, isolation), a psychologist or therapist can support you: our content is here to inform, not to replace professional care.<\/p>\n<h2>Where to start<\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/psycho\/confiance-en-soi\/imposter-syndrome-an-invisible-mechanism-undermining-confidence-434010\">Imposter syndrome explained<\/a>: understanding the mechanism that makes you doubt your own achievements.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/psycho\/confiance-en-soi\/saying-yes-to-please-others-a-psychologist-explains-why-you-cant-set-boundaries-429884\">Why you struggle to set boundaries<\/a>: a psychologist decodes the habit of saying yes just to please.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/psycho\/confiance-en-soi\/youre-making-too-many-excuses-heres-what-it-could-reveal-431077\">Apologizing too much<\/a>: what this reflex may reveal, and how to assert yourself without aggression.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/psycho\/confiance-en-soi\/believing-oneself-to-be-talentless-how-to-appease-that-critical-little-voice-436991\">Quieting your inner critic<\/a>: what to do when you\u2019re convinced you have no talent.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/psycho\/confiance-en-soi\/harassed-by-comments-about-her-weight-she-explains-how-she-regained-her-confidence-445030\">Rebuilding confidence after weight comments<\/a>: one woman explains how she stopped letting other people\u2019s remarks define her.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2>Frequently asked questions<\/h2>\n<h3>What\u2019s the difference between self-confidence and self-esteem?<\/h3>\n<p>Self-esteem is the value you place on yourself as a person; self-confidence is the belief that you can act and succeed in a given situation. You can feel competent at work while judging yourself harshly as a person. Both can be built, often together, through action and self-compassion.<\/p>\n<h3>What is imposter syndrome?<\/h3>\n<p>Imposter syndrome is the persistent feeling that you don\u2019t deserve your success, along with the fear of being \u201cfound out.\u201d First described by psychologists Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes, who called it the impostor phenomenon, it isn\u2019t a mental illness but a common thought pattern, including among highly competent people. Listing your achievements objectively and talking about it helps defuse it.<\/p>\n<h3>How can you help a friend who lacks self-confidence?<\/h3>\n<p>Listen without minimizing what she feels, point out specific qualities rather than vague compliments, encourage her to try things without doing them for her, and avoid comparisons. If her distress lasts or gets worse, gently encourage her to talk to a mental health professional.<\/p>\n<p>Keep exploring: find all our <a href=\"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/psycho\">psychology topics<\/a>, learn to see your body differently with <a href=\"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/psycho\/bodypositive\">Body positive<\/a>, explore family life in <a href=\"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/psycho\/vie-de-maman\">Parenting<\/a>, and build healthier relationships in <a href=\"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/sexo\/vie-amoureuse\">Love life<\/a>.<\/p>","cat_name":"Self-confidence","category_nicename":"confiance-en-soi","category_parent":6138}]},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/431077","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/8394"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=431077"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/431077\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":432390,"href":"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/431077\/revisions\/432390"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/431079"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=431077"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=431077"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=431077"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}