Some people burn photos of their past romances and erase all traces of the unfinished love affair, while others keep these mementos in a box. This often misunderstood practice leads people to believe the other person has regrets or is experiencing sentimental nostalgia. However, keeping mementos of an ex or having a binder of love letters isn't necessarily alarming.<\/p>\n
When a couple breaks up, some people have a cathartic bonfire with gifts from their exes and get rid of anything that reminds them of that time. These people rush to resell precious jewelry online and destroy tangible evidence of their shared moments. For them, this emotional cleansing is necessary to move on and forget more quickly.<\/p>\n
Conversely, some people hoard memories in a box: photos taken on vacation<\/a> or stuffed animals won at the fair. The most romantic among them even go so far as to preserve movie tickets, restaurant bills, plane tickets, and sticky notes scribbled in the morning. And when they begin a new romantic chapter, their first instinct isn't to rush to the dump to empty that box or use their exes' handwritten declarations as kindling for the barbecue.<\/p>\n From an outsider's perspective, these very conservative people seem trapped in the past and attached to someone who is supposed to have left their heart. Naturally, questions arise, and we wonder if the person is "ready" to build a future with us. However, Claire Alquier, a sexologist and couples therapist, puts this Shakespearean custom into perspective in the pages of Slate<\/a> . "We hold onto the memory and the fact that the relationship existed. It's necessary, even validating. We tell ourselves that our investment wasn't in vain." These aren't pieces of evidence of emotional infidelity<\/a> , but rather fragments of life. Furthermore, there are people who value objects and struggle with "goodbyes," even when they involve an "I love you" keychain.<\/p>\n People who keep mementos of their exes close at hand are not necessarily devout believers in unconditional love<\/a> that lasts until the very end. Nor are they all suffering from delayed emotional dependency.<\/p>\n While some prefer a radical break, reducing memories to ashes, others opt for a gentle weaning. With each change, they shed a relic of that lost love. It's less violent than burning everything at once. These memories, which we initially view like a traveler experiencing homesickness, lead not to introspection but to acceptance. In some cases, they even allow us to better appreciate the current relationship.<\/p>\n \u201cThe stages of a breakup are similar to those of grief. Keeping letters, gifts, or other belongings from your ex can serve as a transition,\u201d explains psychologist Marie-H\u00e9l\u00e8ne Simard to Slate. And it\u2019s always easier to delete old couple photos on Facebook than to destroy film prints when the act becomes real and tangible.<\/p>\n When this memory box, filled with sweet nothings and narrative objects, falls into a partner's hands, a thousand scenarios can unfold in their mind. Finding traces of another person's presence is never truly pleasant. Even if they are only abstract memories, they can awaken fears in the other person and shatter all certainties. Hence the importance of discussing it openly, even if it means reopening old wounds.<\/p>\n Cultivating one's own private space and independence is essential for keeping romance fresh, but some topics deserve to be addressed. It's better to discuss the existence of this Pandora's box than to let your partner discover it on their own and imagine the worst.<\/p>\n \u201cWhen you talk about this box, emphasize the love and importance you place on your current relationship, while also making sure your partner feels secure. This is the perfect time to highlight that it\u2019s possible to cherish your past while building a strong future together.\u201d These are the recommendations of Stephen Oreski, a psychotherapist and marriage counselor, who spoke with Brides<\/a> magazine.<\/p>\n Sexologists agree that there's no right or wrong way to cope. Mourning the end of a romance remains a deeply personal experience, and everyone approaches it differently, whether by embracing those memories or by burning them. And a quick reminder: marriage doesn't erase everything that came before.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Some people burn photos of their past romances and erase all traces of the unfinished love affair, while...","protected":false},"author":8340,"featured_media":431494,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"disable_msn":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5717],"tags":[97833,97333,97372],"class_list":["post-431492","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-vie-amoureuse","tag-actu","tag-couple","tag-relation"],"image":{"medium":["https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/Garder-souvenirs-ex-pourquoi-200x113.jpg",200,113,true],"large":["https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/Garder-souvenirs-ex-pourquoi-500x281.jpg",500,281,true]},"custom":{"td_video":"","featured_image":"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/Garder-souvenirs-ex-pourquoi.jpg","author":{"name":"\u00c9milie Laurent","avatar":"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/cropped-2f5d8c00d5d5c27f8ce4d9b3f9015467-96x96.png"},"categories":[{"term_id":5717,"name":"Love life","slug":"vie-amoureuse","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":5885,"taxonomy":"category","description":" The Love life section of The Body Optimist unpacks relationships in all their forms: dating, attraction, life as a couple, jealousy, breakups and being single. Advice from therapists, psychological insights and personal stories help you build healthy, balanced relationships, with no pressure to couple up and no one-size-fits-all model.<\/p>\n Getting over a breakup takes time, and the pain often feels like grief: sadness, anger, nostalgia and relief can take turns. A few steps help you through it: limit contact with your ex and the urge to check their social media, put away objects that stir up memories, lean on friends and family rather than isolating yourself, get back to your routines (sleep, meals, movement) and reinvest in activities that are yours alone. Writing down what you feel helps put your thoughts in order. If the sadness lasts for weeks and keeps you from functioning day to day, a therapist can help you move forward.<\/p>\n We don\u2019t see being in a couple as a goal to reach: single, exclusive, living together without marrying or in a decades-long relationship, every path deserves to be told without judgment. Our articles reject the idea that you need to change your body to be loved, and remind you that excessive jealousy and control are never proof of love. They speak to all couples, straight and LGBTQIA+, and offer guidance without claiming to replace couples therapy or psychological support.<\/p>\n A relationship becomes toxic when one partner controls, belittles or isolates the other: checking their phone, constant criticism, emotional blackmail, swinging between passionate declarations and coldness. \u201cNarcissist\u201d gets used loosely online, but narcissistic personality disorder is a clinical diagnosis: focus on behaviors rather than labels. If you\u2019re facing violence, contact a domestic violence hotline or your local emergency services.<\/p>\n Developed by American marriage counselor Gary Chapman, the five love languages are words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service and physical touch. The idea is that each person tends to express and receive affection in a preferred way. It\u2019s a popular framework for avoiding misunderstandings, not a scientifically validated theory.<\/p>\n Connections often grow out of activities you repeat over time: a sports club, a choir, a community group, volunteering, evening classes. Say yes to invitations, let friends introduce you to their circle, and start conversations around a shared interest. The goal isn\u2019t to impress at all costs but to create more chances to connect.<\/p>\n Keep exploring: find all our sex and relationship topics<\/a>, pleasure and sexual health in Sexuality<\/a>, wedding planning and anniversaries in Marriage<\/a>, and tools to stand your ground in Self-confidence<\/a>.<\/p>","parent":6135,"count":709,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":5717,"category_count":709,"category_description":" The Love life section of The Body Optimist unpacks relationships in all their forms: dating, attraction, life as a couple, jealousy, breakups and being single. Advice from therapists, psychological insights and personal stories help you build healthy, balanced relationships, with no pressure to couple up and no one-size-fits-all model.<\/p>\n Getting over a breakup takes time, and the pain often feels like grief: sadness, anger, nostalgia and relief can take turns. A few steps help you through it: limit contact with your ex and the urge to check their social media, put away objects that stir up memories, lean on friends and family rather than isolating yourself, get back to your routines (sleep, meals, movement) and reinvest in activities that are yours alone. Writing down what you feel helps put your thoughts in order. If the sadness lasts for weeks and keeps you from functioning day to day, a therapist can help you move forward.<\/p>\n We don\u2019t see being in a couple as a goal to reach: single, exclusive, living together without marrying or in a decades-long relationship, every path deserves to be told without judgment. Our articles reject the idea that you need to change your body to be loved, and remind you that excessive jealousy and control are never proof of love. They speak to all couples, straight and LGBTQIA+, and offer guidance without claiming to replace couples therapy or psychological support.<\/p>\n A relationship becomes toxic when one partner controls, belittles or isolates the other: checking their phone, constant criticism, emotional blackmail, swinging between passionate declarations and coldness. \u201cNarcissist\u201d gets used loosely online, but narcissistic personality disorder is a clinical diagnosis: focus on behaviors rather than labels. If you\u2019re facing violence, contact a domestic violence hotline or your local emergency services.<\/p>\n Developed by American marriage counselor Gary Chapman, the five love languages are words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service and physical touch. The idea is that each person tends to express and receive affection in a preferred way. It\u2019s a popular framework for avoiding misunderstandings, not a scientifically validated theory.<\/p>\n Connections often grow out of activities you repeat over time: a sports club, a choir, a community group, volunteering, evening classes. Say yes to invitations, let friends introduce you to their circle, and start conversations around a shared interest. The goal isn\u2019t to impress at all costs but to create more chances to connect.<\/p>\n Keep exploring: find all our sex and relationship topics<\/a>, pleasure and sexual health in Sexuality<\/a>, wedding planning and anniversaries in Marriage<\/a>, and tools to stand your ground in Self-confidence<\/a>.<\/p>","cat_name":"Love life","category_nicename":"vie-amoureuse","category_parent":6135}]},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/431492","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/8340"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=431492"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/431492\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":431495,"href":"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/431492\/revisions\/431495"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/431494"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=431492"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=431492"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=431492"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}} Easing the grieving process for romance<\/h2>\n
Talking about it will dispel any doubts.<\/h2>\n
What you\u2019ll find in the Love life section<\/h2>\n
\n
How do you get over a breakup?<\/h2>\n
Our take on love<\/h2>\n
Where to start<\/h2>\n
\n
Frequently asked questions<\/h2>\n
How can you tell if a relationship is toxic?<\/h3>\n
What are the five love languages?<\/h3>\n
How can you meet someone without dating apps?<\/h3>\n
What you\u2019ll find in the Love life section<\/h2>\n
\n
How do you get over a breakup?<\/h2>\n
Our take on love<\/h2>\n
Where to start<\/h2>\n
\n
Frequently asked questions<\/h2>\n
How can you tell if a relationship is toxic?<\/h3>\n
What are the five love languages?<\/h3>\n
How can you meet someone without dating apps?<\/h3>\n