There are couples who do everything together and live like Siamese twins, and then there are others who only see each other briefly and live their lives like roommates. According to Dr. John Gottman, a psychology professor at the University of Washington who has studied "the ideal amount of time to spend together," it's not so much the duration that matters, but rather how you invest that time together. Seeing each other less, but more deeply, is the secret to happiness.<\/p>\n
Dr. John Gottman<\/a> , who has examined love from every angle throughout his career and made couples his primary subject of study, has identified an ideal amount of time to spend together. For a couple to last and keep that spark alive over the years, they should spend six hours a week together. However, there's an art to how to fill this shared time. The idea isn't simply to be side-by-side and scroll<\/a> from opposite ends of the bed.<\/p>\n As the relationship expert suggests, this time should be allocated wisely throughout the week so that each simple moment becomes an act of intimacy. So, instead of rushing out of bed in the morning and throwing the covers over each other's faces, take the opportunity to reaffirm your love, without making a big deal of it. Instead of being glued to your phone, bombarding each other with Reels, reconnect with your partner by improvising a quick massage or a flurry of kisses. The expert emphasizes the quality of these moments. These " rekindling the flame<\/a> " slots feel like romantic interludes in the chore<\/a> schedule.<\/p>\n Mornings are usually a rush. Everything happens at breakneck speed. We eat breakfast while getting dressed to save time and we rush through the door calling out, "See you tonight!"<\/em> We barely pay attention to our partner. Yet, even if we're not in the mood to talk, we can ask our partner how they felt upon waking<\/a> and what their plans are for the day. "Showing interest in the other person, even briefly, is a valuable sign of attention,"<\/em> explains the psychologist.<\/p>\n When we get home after a long day, we head straight for the sofa and think of nothing but relaxing. We prefer the warmth of our blanket to that of our partner. However, our first instinct should be to cuddle and kiss our soulmate for six seconds (no need for a timer), then reflect on our day, avoiding any complaints. These moments of connection help re-establish the bond after a day spent apart.<\/p>\n We're better at criticizing than at making romantic declarations. We remind our partner they haven't taken out the trash or that they forgot to hang up the laundry, but we rarely flatter their ego. Yet, there's no need to wait for Valentine's Day to thank<\/a> our partner for being there and shower them with flowers. No need to launch into Shakespearean monologues or reenact a scene from "Notting Hill." We can simply say , "I'm proud of you"<\/em> or "You mean so much to me every day."<\/em> It's particularly rewarding (and it goes both ways). Kindness is contagious.<\/p>\n It goes without saying: every couple has their own love language. Some see childish squabbles as silent "I love yous," while others prefer the sensitivity of heartfelt conversations or the warmth of physical touch. The idea? To grow closer emotionally, to rebuild the connection between minds. So, we prescribe ourselves 5 minutes of tenderness each day.<\/p>\n And we're not talking about evenings where everyone is on their phone or absorbed by the TV. Whether it's a dinner at home prepared together, a board game session, a walk in the moonlight or a break at the spa, we simply need to get together, away from the " commute, work, sleep<\/a> " routine.<\/p>\n Some psychologists recommend organizing "argument nights" to avoid the "pressure cooker" effect and prevent emotions from exploding. However, there's no need to be so "radical." You can also sit around a table with some snacks (to lighten the mood) and brainstorm about your love life. Why not create an "emotions jar"? Take turns drawing from a slip of paper and discuss your feelings. It's certainly more pleasant than having a public argument in the living room and subjecting the entire neighborhood to the sound of it.<\/p>\n By scheduling six hours of quality time with our partner, we put the relationship back at the forefront of our priorities without suffocating each other. This helps restore harmony in the home and strengthen our love each day.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"There are couples who do everything together and live like Siamese twins, and then there are others who...","protected":false},"author":8340,"featured_media":434982,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"disable_msn":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5717],"tags":[97833,97333,97372],"class_list":["post-434980","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-vie-amoureuse","tag-actu","tag-couple","tag-relation"],"image":{"medium":["https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/temps-a-passer-ensemble-couple-200x113.jpg",200,113,true],"large":["https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/temps-a-passer-ensemble-couple-500x281.jpg",500,281,true]},"custom":{"td_video":"","featured_image":"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/temps-a-passer-ensemble-couple.jpg","author":{"name":"\u00c9milie Laurent","avatar":"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/cropped-2f5d8c00d5d5c27f8ce4d9b3f9015467-96x96.png"},"categories":[{"term_id":5717,"name":"Love life","slug":"vie-amoureuse","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":5885,"taxonomy":"category","description":" The Love life section of The Body Optimist unpacks relationships in all their forms: dating, attraction, life as a couple, jealousy, breakups and being single. Advice from therapists, psychological insights and personal stories help you build healthy, balanced relationships, with no pressure to couple up and no one-size-fits-all model.<\/p>\n Getting over a breakup takes time, and the pain often feels like grief: sadness, anger, nostalgia and relief can take turns. A few steps help you through it: limit contact with your ex and the urge to check their social media, put away objects that stir up memories, lean on friends and family rather than isolating yourself, get back to your routines (sleep, meals, movement) and reinvest in activities that are yours alone. Writing down what you feel helps put your thoughts in order. If the sadness lasts for weeks and keeps you from functioning day to day, a therapist can help you move forward.<\/p>\n We don\u2019t see being in a couple as a goal to reach: single, exclusive, living together without marrying or in a decades-long relationship, every path deserves to be told without judgment. Our articles reject the idea that you need to change your body to be loved, and remind you that excessive jealousy and control are never proof of love. They speak to all couples, straight and LGBTQIA+, and offer guidance without claiming to replace couples therapy or psychological support.<\/p>\n A relationship becomes toxic when one partner controls, belittles or isolates the other: checking their phone, constant criticism, emotional blackmail, swinging between passionate declarations and coldness. \u201cNarcissist\u201d gets used loosely online, but narcissistic personality disorder is a clinical diagnosis: focus on behaviors rather than labels. If you\u2019re facing violence, contact a domestic violence hotline or your local emergency services.<\/p>\n Developed by American marriage counselor Gary Chapman, the five love languages are words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service and physical touch. The idea is that each person tends to express and receive affection in a preferred way. It\u2019s a popular framework for avoiding misunderstandings, not a scientifically validated theory.<\/p>\n Connections often grow out of activities you repeat over time: a sports club, a choir, a community group, volunteering, evening classes. Say yes to invitations, let friends introduce you to their circle, and start conversations around a shared interest. The goal isn\u2019t to impress at all costs but to create more chances to connect.<\/p>\n Keep exploring: find all our sex and relationship topics<\/a>, pleasure and sexual health in Sexuality<\/a>, wedding planning and anniversaries in Marriage<\/a>, and tools to stand your ground in Self-confidence<\/a>.<\/p>","parent":6135,"count":709,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":5717,"category_count":709,"category_description":" The Love life section of The Body Optimist unpacks relationships in all their forms: dating, attraction, life as a couple, jealousy, breakups and being single. Advice from therapists, psychological insights and personal stories help you build healthy, balanced relationships, with no pressure to couple up and no one-size-fits-all model.<\/p>\n Getting over a breakup takes time, and the pain often feels like grief: sadness, anger, nostalgia and relief can take turns. A few steps help you through it: limit contact with your ex and the urge to check their social media, put away objects that stir up memories, lean on friends and family rather than isolating yourself, get back to your routines (sleep, meals, movement) and reinvest in activities that are yours alone. Writing down what you feel helps put your thoughts in order. If the sadness lasts for weeks and keeps you from functioning day to day, a therapist can help you move forward.<\/p>\n We don\u2019t see being in a couple as a goal to reach: single, exclusive, living together without marrying or in a decades-long relationship, every path deserves to be told without judgment. Our articles reject the idea that you need to change your body to be loved, and remind you that excessive jealousy and control are never proof of love. They speak to all couples, straight and LGBTQIA+, and offer guidance without claiming to replace couples therapy or psychological support.<\/p>\n A relationship becomes toxic when one partner controls, belittles or isolates the other: checking their phone, constant criticism, emotional blackmail, swinging between passionate declarations and coldness. \u201cNarcissist\u201d gets used loosely online, but narcissistic personality disorder is a clinical diagnosis: focus on behaviors rather than labels. If you\u2019re facing violence, contact a domestic violence hotline or your local emergency services.<\/p>\n Developed by American marriage counselor Gary Chapman, the five love languages are words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service and physical touch. The idea is that each person tends to express and receive affection in a preferred way. It\u2019s a popular framework for avoiding misunderstandings, not a scientifically validated theory.<\/p>\n Connections often grow out of activities you repeat over time: a sports club, a choir, a community group, volunteering, evening classes. Say yes to invitations, let friends introduce you to their circle, and start conversations around a shared interest. The goal isn\u2019t to impress at all costs but to create more chances to connect.<\/p>\n Keep exploring: find all our sex and relationship topics<\/a>, pleasure and sexual health in Sexuality<\/a>, wedding planning and anniversaries in Marriage<\/a>, and tools to stand your ground in Self-confidence<\/a>.<\/p>","cat_name":"Love life","category_nicename":"vie-amoureuse","category_parent":6135}]},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/434980","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/8340"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=434980"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/434980\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":435279,"href":"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/434980\/revisions\/435279"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/434982"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=434980"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=434980"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=434980"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}} Key moments in the morning (10 minutes per week)<\/h2>\n
Daily get-togethers (1 hour 40 minutes per week, or 20 minutes per day)<\/h2>\n
A meaningful dialogue (35 minutes per week)<\/h2>\n
Affectionate gestures (35 minutes per week)<\/h2>\n
A romantic evening (2 hours per week)<\/h2>\n
Take stock of your love life (1 hour per week)<\/h2>\n
What you\u2019ll find in the Love life section<\/h2>\n
\n
How do you get over a breakup?<\/h2>\n
Our take on love<\/h2>\n
Where to start<\/h2>\n
\n
Frequently asked questions<\/h2>\n
How can you tell if a relationship is toxic?<\/h3>\n
What are the five love languages?<\/h3>\n
How can you meet someone without dating apps?<\/h3>\n
What you\u2019ll find in the Love life section<\/h2>\n
\n
How do you get over a breakup?<\/h2>\n
Our take on love<\/h2>\n
Where to start<\/h2>\n
\n
Frequently asked questions<\/h2>\n
How can you tell if a relationship is toxic?<\/h3>\n
What are the five love languages?<\/h3>\n
How can you meet someone without dating apps?<\/h3>\n