Sometimes, we get the strange feeling of being the black sheep of our group of friends, the last to know about get-togethers at the caf\u00e9, the missing piece in WhatsApp conversations, the unwanted member of the group. Forced into isolation, we're spectators of a shared understanding in which we only participate from afar. We're informed of events at the last minute or we only learn about them after they've already happened. Psychologists have a name for this: it's the typical profile of the "marginal friend."<\/p>\n
Within a group of friends, there's an invisible but well-orchestrated hierarchy: the leader, the followers, and the black sheep, who struggles for collective recognition and must constantly strive to feel included. This friend, whom no one expects outside a restaurant and whose absence would barely be noticed, is almost an extra. From a distance, they resemble that slightly unloved classmate who tries to attach themselves to already established groups. Psychologists have dubbed them the "marginal friend," a powerful adjective that illustrates an unconscious rejection.<\/p>\n
They're the fifth wheel, the person who stays in the background, the one who never gets a say and whom no one consults beforehand at big meetings. They're part of the group, but sometimes they feel like an outsider, an outsider. Also known as the backup friend, they're contacted to fill in a reservation for an escape room or to take advantage of a group rate, but they're forgotten when it comes to small gatherings or ultra-secret pajama parties like Jenny's in Gossip Girl.<\/p>\n
He's a bit of an outsider despite himself. He's left out, never given the meaning of inside jokes, and, most importantly, automatically put on the chopping block. In the pages of Self<\/a> magazine, psychologist Christina Ferrari lists the signs that prove you might be this marginal friend, the one more commonly known as the "stand-in."<\/p>\n The eccentric friend learns about outings through word of mouth or after a monumental blunder. Conversations resembling Tupperware parties arise between pixels without this friend ever being included in the discussion. He is always presented with a fait accompli, with slightly hypocritical phrases like "you can come if you want" or stock excuses such as "the bar was already full."<\/p>\n The expert puts things into perspective: "Occasionally, it's not a cause for concern." It might simply be an organizational issue or a lack of communication. However, if it becomes a habit, it means you're not considered an equal to your friends.<\/p>\n Whether it's for a shopping trip, an outdoor meal in the local park, or a day at the pool, the outsider friend is always in the background. He's the eternal forgotten one. He only discovers the dress code once he arrives at the restaurant door and surprises his so-called friends with matching glitter tattoos, having never seen a single inspirational Pinterest photo pop up in the original group chat.<\/p>\n Perhaps your friends have a parallel conversation, a "second" group reserved for the elite. As the psychologist reminds us, "it's not about being included in everything," however, there are signs that speak out about what those most involved are keeping silent about.<\/p>\n The unconventional friend always has to fight to see their group of friends, who compete to come up with excuses to decline every invitation. \u201cIt\u2019s not a good time.\u201d \u201cI\u2019m too busy.\u201d \u201cWe\u2019ll talk again next month, okay?\u201d Yet, they stumble across an Instagram story from one of them, smiling and toasting with her buddies. It\u2019s a one-sided friendship. The friends who care notice our absence; they don\u2019t rejoice.<\/p>\n The worst thing about feeling left out is that you end up analyzing everything. The invitation that never arrives. The joke everyone gets except you. The group photo where you discover the party happened\u2026 without you. You can talk about it, at the risk of seeming overly sensitive. Or you can stay silent and keep wondering what you did wrong. Neither scenario is particularly appealing.<\/p>\n If you choose to bring it up, there's no need to make a fuss. A simple, "I love spending time with you. Keep me in mind next time!" is often enough. It's direct, lighthearted, and non-accusatory. But perhaps the real issue lies elsewhere. Instead of desperately trying to earn your place in a group, ask yourself: why invest so much energy where you constantly have to prove you deserve to be there?<\/p>\n So instead of chasing approval that never comes, open other doors. Invite that colleague<\/a> with whom conversations are always easy. Reconnect with that friend you've lost touch with. Accept that invitation you would normally have declined. Sometimes, the best response to feeling excluded isn't to find your place at all costs. It's to go where a place is already waiting for you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Sometimes, we get the strange feeling of being the black sheep of our group of friends, the last...","protected":false},"author":8340,"featured_media":445045,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"disable_msn":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5678],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-445044","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-societe"],"image":{"medium":["https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/Ami-marginal-groupe-200x113.jpg",200,113,true],"large":["https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/Ami-marginal-groupe-500x281.jpg",500,281,true]},"custom":{"td_video":"","featured_image":"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/Ami-marginal-groupe.jpg","author":{"name":"\u00c9milie Laurent","avatar":"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/cropped-2f5d8c00d5d5c27f8ce4d9b3f9015467-96x96.png"},"categories":[{"term_id":5678,"name":"Society","slug":"societe","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":5846,"taxonomy":"category","description":" The Society section of The Body Optimist unpacks the debates that shape women\u2019s lives: equality, discrimination, beauty standards, social ties and the place of bodies in public space. Its analysis, first-person stories and practical advice are for anyone who wants to understand the pressures of everyday life and push back, with an inclusive, body-positive and judgment-free perspective.<\/p>\n Beauty standards are a social issue because they are neither natural nor universal: they shift from one country to another and from one era to the next, as our article on how beauty standards differ around the world<\/a> shows. Yet these ideals of thinness, youth and flawless skin have very real effects: comments starting in childhood, pressure to watch your weight, unequal treatment at work and in health care, online harassment. Recognizing that a norm is constructed helps you take a step back, spot the messages designed to make you feel guilty and choose what you want to keep. That is the common thread of this section: connecting individual experiences to the collective mechanisms that produce them.<\/p>\n If you experience discrimination or online harassment, the first step is to keep evidence, then to turn to the right people, who will depend on the country you live in:<\/p>\n Born from a plus-size fashion site, our magazine looks at social issues through the lens of the body and representation. We give a voice to the people most affected, we explain the words before debating them (sexism, fatphobia, trans identity, consent) and we favor practical ways forward over outrage alone. Our articles start from everyday experiences to shed light on broader patterns, without moralizing or pitting women against each other.<\/p>\n Discrimination is unequal treatment based on a characteristic protected by law, in a specific area such as employment, housing or access to goods and services. Protected grounds vary from country to country, but they often include sex, race or ethnic origin, disability, age, religion, sexual orientation and gender identity. Some places also protect physical appearance or weight.<\/p>\n Intersectionality describes how several forms of discrimination can overlap in the same person and reinforce one another. The American legal scholar Kimberl\u00e9 Crenshaw coined the term to describe the experiences of Black women. A woman who is both fat and lesbian, for example, may face sexism, fatphobia and homophobia, which compound one another rather than simply adding up.<\/p>\n Diet culture is the set of beliefs that equates thinness with health, success and personal worth. It shows up in foods labeled \u201cgood\u201d or \u201cbad,\u201d compliments on weight loss and the shaming of fat bodies. Our magazine prefers a weight-inclusive approach to health, at every size.<\/p>\n Want to go further? Our Culture<\/a> section explores how bodies and identities are portrayed in movies, TV shows and books, and our Psychology<\/a> section supports you with self-image, confidence and emotions.<\/p>","parent":0,"count":1540,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":5678,"category_count":1540,"category_description":" The Society section of The Body Optimist unpacks the debates that shape women\u2019s lives: equality, discrimination, beauty standards, social ties and the place of bodies in public space. Its analysis, first-person stories and practical advice are for anyone who wants to understand the pressures of everyday life and push back, with an inclusive, body-positive and judgment-free perspective.<\/p>\n Beauty standards are a social issue because they are neither natural nor universal: they shift from one country to another and from one era to the next, as our article on how beauty standards differ around the world<\/a> shows. Yet these ideals of thinness, youth and flawless skin have very real effects: comments starting in childhood, pressure to watch your weight, unequal treatment at work and in health care, online harassment. Recognizing that a norm is constructed helps you take a step back, spot the messages designed to make you feel guilty and choose what you want to keep. That is the common thread of this section: connecting individual experiences to the collective mechanisms that produce them.<\/p>\n If you experience discrimination or online harassment, the first step is to keep evidence, then to turn to the right people, who will depend on the country you live in:<\/p>\n Born from a plus-size fashion site, our magazine looks at social issues through the lens of the body and representation. We give a voice to the people most affected, we explain the words before debating them (sexism, fatphobia, trans identity, consent) and we favor practical ways forward over outrage alone. Our articles start from everyday experiences to shed light on broader patterns, without moralizing or pitting women against each other.<\/p>\n Discrimination is unequal treatment based on a characteristic protected by law, in a specific area such as employment, housing or access to goods and services. Protected grounds vary from country to country, but they often include sex, race or ethnic origin, disability, age, religion, sexual orientation and gender identity. Some places also protect physical appearance or weight.<\/p>\n Intersectionality describes how several forms of discrimination can overlap in the same person and reinforce one another. The American legal scholar Kimberl\u00e9 Crenshaw coined the term to describe the experiences of Black women. A woman who is both fat and lesbian, for example, may face sexism, fatphobia and homophobia, which compound one another rather than simply adding up.<\/p>\n Diet culture is the set of beliefs that equates thinness with health, success and personal worth. It shows up in foods labeled \u201cgood\u201d or \u201cbad,\u201d compliments on weight loss and the shaming of fat bodies. Our magazine prefers a weight-inclusive approach to health, at every size.<\/p>\n Want to go further? Our Culture<\/a> section explores how bodies and identities are portrayed in movies, TV shows and books, and our Psychology<\/a> section supports you with self-image, confidence and emotions.<\/p>","cat_name":"Society","category_nicename":"societe","category_parent":0}]},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/445044","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/8340"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=445044"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/445044\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":445063,"href":"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/445044\/revisions\/445063"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/445045"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=445044"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=445044"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ma-grande-taille.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=445044"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}} The last one to be notified when there are outings<\/h2>\n
Never consulted to organize events<\/h2>\n
The request always comes from you.<\/h2>\n
A psychologist's suggestions for breaking free from this status<\/h2>\n
What you\u2019ll find in the Society section<\/h2>\n
\n
Why are beauty standards a social issue?<\/h2>\n
What can you do about discrimination or online harassment?<\/h2>\n
\n
Our approach: connecting the personal and the collective<\/h2>\n
Articles to start with<\/h2>\n
\n
Frequently asked questions<\/h2>\n
What counts as discrimination?<\/h3>\n
What is intersectionality?<\/h3>\n
What is diet culture?<\/h3>\n
What you\u2019ll find in the Society section<\/h2>\n
\n
Why are beauty standards a social issue?<\/h2>\n
What can you do about discrimination or online harassment?<\/h2>\n
\n
Our approach: connecting the personal and the collective<\/h2>\n
Articles to start with<\/h2>\n
\n
Frequently asked questions<\/h2>\n
What counts as discrimination?<\/h3>\n
What is intersectionality?<\/h3>\n
What is diet culture?<\/h3>\n