For you, cooking isn't a pleasant pastime; it's a chore. You'd much rather put your feet up than stand in the kitchen. When you have guests, you make a superhuman effort to prepare meals, whether it takes 20 minutes or three hours. It's simply a waste of time. If you find yourself saying "I hate cooking" every time you put on your apron, it's not a lack of willpower or a sign of laziness.
A sign of high internal stress
There are those who make a living from cooking, and others who sigh at the mere thought of picking up a saucepan or a wooden spoon. When you cook, you don't whistle the happy tune or sway to the music like in the movies; you sigh in despair. You dream of a "Black Mirror"-style robot that would free you from this thankless task and put an end to the endless question , "What's for dinner?"
In fact, you're regularly criticized for your culinary laziness, as if we were all born with Cyril Lignac's culinary talent. While for some people cooking is an art, for you it's a flaw. And for that reason alone, you feel abnormal. Why does hating cooking seem so unacceptable when hating knitting or yoga is perfectly normal? Probably because having cooking skills implies a certain independence and a healthy lifestyle.
Preparing a balanced meal that's both visually appealing and delicious, while juggling schedules and everyone's dietary preferences, can quickly become a stressful exercise. This aversion isn't simply a matter of taste; it reflects a difficulty in managing the stress associated with household responsibilities. According to psychologists , refusing to cook can be an unconscious way of protecting oneself from anxiety or mental overload. Rejecting this task becomes a signal: the body and mind are saying "stop" before the activity generates frustration or a feeling of failure.
A matter of childhood and learning
As you probably know, children learn by imitation and copy the behaviors of those around them. If your mother presented you with an almost commercial image of this hobby, then you likely retained only positive memories. Conversely, if you saw her grumbling over pots and pans and complaining about cooking at every meal, chances are you inherited her frustration and dreaded going behind the counter.
A childhood where cooking was seen as a chore, or a family environment where meals were a source of conflict or judgment, can leave a deep mark. Thus, a person who hates cooking isn't simply expressing a current preference, but may be unconsciously replaying emotional experiences from their past. The kitchen then becomes a symbolic space, laden with expectations and memories, rather than a moment of pleasure. This is especially true when the family kitchen has been the scene of arguments, reprimands, or the starting point of eating disorders.
The link with creativity and perfection
Hating to cook also reflects a strong need for self-control. Because cooking involves an element of risk: it's not always an exact science. Sometimes things go wrong: Tarte Tatin is a prime example, and yet it has become a cult classic. You're afraid of not achieving the photogenic result promised in the cookbook, of using too much or too little salt, of disappointing your taste buds. You fear failing as if you were participating in a show like "MasterChef." Ultimately, the opinions of others spoil the enjoyment.
Testing a recipe, adjusting flavors, improvising with ingredients… While this is stimulating for great chefs, some people dislike this freedom, not for lack of talent, but because they feel pressure to be perfect. An aversion to cooking can then reflect a latent perfectionism, a fear of making mistakes or not living up to expectations, whether real or imagined.
A delicate relationship with oneself
Cooking for others represents a colossal mental burden. In these circumstances, you have your excuses. You don't want to be the household maid and take care of the week's menu. Which is understandable in a world that moves at breakneck speed and where time is almost a luxury. On the other hand, cooking just for yourself is different. Hating to cook, even when it's for your own consumption, signals an inner conflict. You struggle to prioritize your own needs. Worse, you feel guilty when you dedicate time to yourself.
Preparing a meal requires self-care, anticipating one's nutritional and emotional needs. In this sense, saying "I hate cooking" can reflect our ability to take care of ourselves and find a balance between obligations and pleasure.
For some, cooking is a refuge from the chaos, a precious meditative activity after a long day. For others, it's a confrontation with traumas, fears, the lingering stench of inner turmoil.
