Heo Gayoon, former member of the South Korean K-pop girl group 4MINUTE, recently gave a moving account of the reasons that led her to leave South Korea, a country that was central to her career. Harassed, struggling with an eating disorder, and deeply affected by a family tragedy, the singer explains why leaving became, for her, an act of survival.
A second-generation idol broken by pressure
Heo Gayoon debuted in 2009 as the lead singer of 4MINUTE, one of the most iconic girl groups of the second generation of K-pop. For years, she embodied the image of the so-called perfect idol: talented, smiling, and always professional in front of the cameras. Except that behind this facade, the reality was much darker.
During a recent appearance on the Korean show "You Quiz on the Block," she revealed that she had been a victim of bullying and involved in a case of "school violence," which she chose to endure in silence rather than speak out or defend herself. She also explained that she suffered from bulimia: she would eat until physical pain forced her to stop, unable to admit her disorder to those around her.
An unbearable grief and hurtful words
Beyond the pressures of her environment and her eating disorder, Heo Gayoon also had to cope with a family tragedy: the sudden death of her older brother. This shock marked a turning point in her life. Heo Gayoon confides that after his death, her own parents, overwhelmed with grief, told her, "If it weren't for you, we would want to join him too." Devastating words for a young woman already fragile, which plunged her even deeper into guilt and suffering. Korea, her country, then became synonymous with accumulated wounds: bullying, eating disorders, bereavement, and family misunderstanding.
Leaving Korea to survive: a necessary exile
Faced with this accumulation of pain, Heo Gayoon finally made a radical choice: to leave. She decided to settle in Bali, Indonesia, where she has lived for about three years. There, she found a more peaceful environment, far from the spotlight, the expectations of the industry, and the memories that haunted her. To make this departure possible, she even sold her apartment in Seongsu-dong, Seoul, as well as her car, symbolically severing material ties with her past life. This wasn't an escape for comfort, but a decision for emotional survival: Bali became a space for her to rebuild, to breathe, and to redefine herself outside the "idol" label.
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From K-pop star to woman in search of peace
Since 4MINUTE's disbandment in 2016, Heo Gayoon has gradually turned to acting and a more private life. In 2024, she once again captured the public's attention by sharing her life in Bali through online content, revealing a simpler, more natural woman, seeking inner peace rather than fame. Her story sheds light on the hidden side of K-pop:
- Extreme pressure on the body and image.
- Scandals and rumors of "school violence" that destroy reputations.
- The imposed silence surrounding mental and eating disorders.
By telling his story, Heo Gayoon gives a human face to these often invisible sufferings, and reminds us that behind every idol hides a person who may be on the verge of breaking down.
Heo Gayoon's story is not just that of a singer who left her country, but that of a woman who had to escape a toxic environment in order to survive. By speaking openly about her bulimia, the harassment she endured, and the pain of losing her brother, she breaks a taboo that still holds sway in the Korean music industry and encourages other artists—and fans—to take their mental health seriously.
