You may have already experienced mixing up the names of your loved ones during a family meal and getting confused. At the time, you probably thought , "How could I have made such a mistake with something so obvious?" Rest assured, this minor mix-up is common and doesn't mean you're putting down those around you.
A mistake that is far more common than you might think.
You used to resent your mother when she called you by your older sister's name, until it happened to you too. You've probably already mixed up the names of your loved ones or shouted your youngest son's name when you meant your eldest. If we apply this experience to childhood, it's just as embarrassing as calling your schoolteacher "Mom."
This emotional slip-up, even if it disrupts the atmosphere at home and makes people think you have a favorite, is quite common. No, you're not heartless, and no, it's not the beginning of dementia. This mistake occurs mainly in situations of emotional familiarity, when the brain is operating on autopilot.
Contrary to popular belief, this mistake isn't related to a memory problem. It affects both young and old, and can happen even when you're perfectly focused. In reality, our brain doesn't categorize names in isolation, but rather according to emotional associations.
The brain categorizes based on emotional connections, not logic.
Neuroscientists explain that our brain organizes information according to semantic networks. In other words, people who occupy a similar place in our lives (children, partners, close friends) are mentally grouped into the same "emotional family".
When you're searching for a name, your brain activates this emotional category before selecting the exact word. As a result, a similar name might pop up instead of the correct one. This isn't a glitch, but a direct consequence of attachment .
Ironically, we rarely mix up names with people we don't have a strong emotional connection to, except when we're distracted or the names are similar. It's not impossible to get confused with two colleagues named Emilie and Elodie. However, this remains an exception. Mixing up names is therefore more a sign of over-familiarity than a lack of attention.
A sign of affection, not neglect
This is often the most surprising point: calling someone by the wrong name can be interpreted as a sign of affection. Studies show that these mix-ups occur mainly between loved ones, and almost never with strangers or distant acquaintances.
Within families, this phenomenon is even more pronounced. Parents, for example, frequently mix up their children's names, especially when calling them for an emotional reason: comfort, concern, or joy. The name then becomes less a precise identifier than a symbol of connection. Socially, using the wrong name is often perceived as a faux pas. It's associated with a lack of consideration, or even an implicit comparison. Yet, it's simply the brain losing track.
The next time you call someone by a different name, don't feel bad about it. This slip of the tongue might simply mean this: this person is important to you. So put things in perspective; it's a sign of love, not emotional laziness.
