Between trivial conversations about the weather, forced smiles at social gatherings, and pretenses around large tables, our social batteries quickly run out. And unlike cell phones, simply plugging in isn't enough to recharge them. In thepages of Self magazine , Laurie Helgoe, PhD in psychology and associate professor of clinical psychology at the University of Augsburg, shares activities to recharge these overtaxed social batteries.
When the social battery is in a critical state
Maintaining a good appearance in society is no easy feat. We have to constantly perform, engage in incredibly tedious conversations, and keep our social mask firmly in place while inwardly we're on the verge of a nervous breakdown. And to top it all off, we absorb all the negative emotions around us like a sponge .
Generally, we know when our social battery is completely depleted. We stare into space, nod our heads without participating in conversations, and feel a strong need for solitude. So much so that our only refuge is the restroom. This feeling of saturation sets in quickly, after a few formal, soulless conversations about the weather or impromptu therapy sessions with endlessly chatty colleagues. "When you interact with others, you process a large amount of information, and if there's too much at once, it's no wonder you feel overwhelmed or have trouble relaxing," reassures Dr. Helgoe.
However, we don't really have a user manual for reconnecting with ourselves and overcoming this social fatigue that only hibernation seems able to alleviate. We can't yet plug ourselves into the mains and recharge with electricity via a catheter. On the other hand, we can prescribe ourselves moments of well-being.
Immerse yourself in an imaginary world
To recharge our completely drained social batteries, there's no need for a week-long silent retreat. A book of fiction is a good substitute and is enough on its own to give us a boost. It naturally encourages letting go and truly disconnects us from our real world. We let ourselves be carried away by the pages and become so absorbed in the plot that we forget our worries. By stepping through the door to parallel worlds, whether populated by fantastical creatures or menacing monsters, we effectively turn away from what's stressing us out. It's our escape route. Our own personal escape lies on the other side of the front cover.
Change of environment
When your social battery is at zero and you're overdosing on human interaction, all you want to do is crawl under the covers and switch to airplane mode. However, this expert has another plan for us. Rather than remaining secluded within the walls of our bedroom, struggling with this social hangover, she recommends getting some fresh air, a change of scenery (using whatever means are available). There's no need to jump on the first train that comes along or undertake a digital detox deep in the mountains.
There are less radical ways to find peace. Sitting on a park bench, listening to the birds sing, retreating to the forest, or trying a " color walk "—a stroll guided by a specific color—can all be beneficial. The goal is to rejuvenate your mind, and nature offers a true escape, an open-air therapy session. Scientific studies abound in this regard: being in contact with nature soothes stress and reduces anxiety. Plus, it's free!
Approaching fatigue in a less fatalistic way
We had to listen to our boss talk about marathons when the mere thought of running for the bus gives us hives. We made superhuman efforts to show interest in our colleague's family photos, as he scrolled through 500 pictures from his last vacation.
When we leave a stressful social event, we tend to replay the scenes in our heads, and these flashbacks irritate us almost more than the present. Hence the importance, according to Dr. Helgoe, of taking a step back and focusing on the more enjoyable parts. It's all a matter of perspective. So, instead of lamenting the endless evening and a colleague's monologues, we can rejoice in having eaten delicious canapés and forged new connections.
Relax without the fuss
It's a common misconception that you need to go to a thalassotherapy spa or book an entire spa to recharge your social batteries and regain your tolerance for others. Yet, simplicity is key. There are no miracle solutions, just techniques tailored to each individual. Some people are perfectly content with their own company and remain in their own bubble, while others want to maintain at least some connection with the outside world. Dr. Helgoe, for her part, has no bias. She simply recommends avoiding crowded places and the sensory overload that comes with them. According to her, the cinema offers a true haven of peace. "It's a shared and pleasant moment of calm," she says.
Choose a restorative activity that we enjoy
In the age of social media, it's tempting to replicate trendy wellness activities. We might want to try Pilates, hug trees, do yoga surrounded by puppies, scream in furry rooms, or drink olive oil shots with Tibetan singing bowls playing in the background. However, these aren't always right for us, and instead of relaxing us, they often have the opposite effect. Listening to our own needs isn't optional; it's essential.
When your social battery falters and you get irritated by even the smallest "hello", you need to know how to prioritize yourself.
