You have a look worthy of the Fashion Week runways, but your partner doesn't share your artistic vision at all? Your other half is your stylistic opposite. They mix clashing colors, combine eye-watering fabrics, and pile on the fashion faux pas in their outfits. The social network TikTok has coined a term for this aesthetic gap: the swag gap. Clearly, love hangs by a thread…
The swag gap, a trend that focuses on appearances
The swag gap already has its icons: Hailey and Justin Bieber. While the model always sports meticulously curated and stylish outfits, her partner seems to be racking up fashion faux pas. Everyone remembers that picture of Hailey in a head-to-toe red ensemble with patent leather pumps and Justin in Crocs with socks and a completely disheveled zip-up sweatshirt. The media said they were mismatched, their looks contradictory. The two celebrities, who seem to be playing a game of spot the difference at every public appearance and who sport totally incoherent outfits, perfectly embody the "swag gap" trend.
While some couples even coordinate their wardrobes, others don't consult each other at all when putting together their outfits, resulting in a cacophony of mismatched looks. This is precisely the definition of a "swag gap": a difference in style between two partners. To give you a simple example, it's like going out in a satin dress with someone wearing sweatpants and a hoodie.
"For example, one of the partners, the one who seems 'cooler', enters every room as if they own the place, perfectly styled and naturally self-assured, while the other stands awkwardly behind, well-dressed but not 'too stylish'." This is how psychologist Mark Travers describes the "swag gap" in the pages of Forbes .
The way the swag gap affects the couple
On TikTok, users judge couples' compatibility by their outfits, as if clothes made the couple. If your partner wears Hawaiian shirts and souvenir flip-flops while you sport a sequined dress and designer sandals, you're not going to make a scene or play style consultant . You accept your partner as they are, regardless of their fashion sense. Sure, wearing hiking shorts with a polo shirt isn't very conventional, but it's not a crime.
However, this stylistic debate sparked by the "swag gap" isn't as superficial as it seems. Clothing, usually secondary in a relationship, suddenly becomes a tool of superiority. The same garment that falls to the floor in the heat of passion enhances one partner's image while overshadowing the other. The person lacking in style, who chooses clothes haphazardly, prioritizing comfort over visual harmony, will remain in their partner's shadow. It's as if the other person takes up all the space (and not just with their oversized blazer shoulder pads). The result: we begin to doubt our own worth and develop resentment towards our partner, who enjoys creating Pinterest boards. We lose confidence with every display of style and find ourselves saying , "You're better than me."
And this is noticeable far beyond the wardrobe. Someone who has never heard of Anna Wintour and dresses haphazardly will feel inferior. They will tend to idolize the other person and agree with them.
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Learning to see beyond the fabric: a necessity
You dress better than your partner, but according to whom? According to what? Constantly evolving aesthetic criteria? Unrealistic beauty standards that prioritize conformity over individuality? The "swag gap" creates an unhealthy competition within the relationship. And there's no question of changing your partner's style, even if it lacks taste and coherence. They're not some kind of Ken doll you can dress up however you like. Clothes are just a facade, a fleeting glimpse of personality. What lies beneath is worth far more than a Chanel jacket.
If you can't agree on a dress code, at least you can agree on other, more important things. Take Selena Gomez and her husband Benny Blanco, for example. The former Disney Channel star has a signature glam-chic style, while her partner's is a little less predictable. When she wears a head-to-toe leather look, he sports a colorful purple shirt and ripped jeans with rhinestones, and yet their love is undeniable.
After all, everyone has their own sense of style. Fashion has its own rules, but it's not one of the five love languages. To cultivate feelings, the essentials are complicity, clear communication, and mutual respect.
