A beautifully wrapped package, a smile when it's given, and that little thrill of anticipation to discover what's inside… At Christmas, gifts are far from insignificant. Behind a present sometimes lie implicit messages about the relationship, expectations, and the place you truly hold in the other person's heart.
Christmas gifts: a true language of affection
Giving a gift is never a neutral gesture. It's a way to express attention, appreciation, and sometimes even desire. The choice of a present reveals what we perceive in the other person, but also how we wish to nurture the relationship. And according to a study conducted by the extramarital dating site Gleeden, these choices become particularly revealing when infidelity is involved.
Some men do indeed experience Christmas in two ways: an official celebration with their partner, and a more discreet one with their lover. Two relationships, two dynamics… and often, two very different types of gifts.
Infidelity and double gift distribution
The study highlights a striking fact: a large majority of unfaithful men plan to give their mistress a Christmas present. This gesture demonstrates that the extramarital affair is not perceived as "incidental" or "fleeting," but rather as a bond that deserves attention and investment.
Even more surprising, many of them say they are willing to spend more on this "secret" gift than on the one intended for their official partner. This choice raises questions about the emotional and symbolic hierarchy assigned to each relationship, especially during a time as symbolically charged as Christmas.
When the budget reveals the priorities
The differences are striking. A significant proportion of respondents plan to spend over €200 on a gift for their lover, while considerably fewer intend to allocate a similar budget to their life partner. Conversely, gifts given within a committed relationship more often fall within intermediate price ranges.
This imbalance can reflect a desire to compensate, to seduce, or to maintain emotional intensity in the hidden relationship. The gift then becomes a tool for self-affirmation, both for the recipient and the giver.
Very (too) stereotypical gift choices
Beyond the price, the very nature of the gifts is revealing. For their lovers, unfaithful men favor gifts associated with sensuality and the body: jewelry, lingerie, intimate accessories. Objects that celebrate desire and seduction.
Conversely, gifts intended for their official partners are often more "sensible," more functional: books, wellness products, household items, or appliances. Useful presents, sometimes thoughtful, but which can also lack emotional or passionate connection.
What these gifts (really) say about the relationship
This is certainly not about demonizing a book or a wellness gift set. In many couples, these gifts are chosen with love and perfectly match the recipient's desires. It all depends on the context, the intention, and a true understanding of the other person's needs.
However, when a gift feels impersonal or automatic, it can leave a sense of disconnect. Conversely, a present chosen to celebrate uniqueness, the body, and personality can boost self-esteem and emotional connection.
You deserve attention to your image
This study reminds us of something essential: you deserve gifts that reflect who you are and honor all facets of your identity. Your body deserves to be celebrated without taboo, your mind acknowledged, your sensitivity respected. The attention you receive should nurture your confidence and your feeling of being truly chosen.
If a gift leaves you with a strange feeling or a sense of dissatisfaction, it can be helpful to listen to yourself, without judgment. This isn't about automatically suspecting your partner, but about asserting your expectations and relationship needs.
At Christmas, as throughout the year, a gift is a message. It speaks of place, commitment, and how we see others. You have the right to expect gestures that make you feel valued and respected, without comparison or half-measures. Because ultimately, the most beautiful gift is the one that reminds you of your worth, your beauty, and your right to be loved fully.
