The contraceptive pill, small as it may be, has significant repercussions on the body. It would take almost half a day to read about all its side effects. But among all that fine print, not a single line mentions its impact on one's love life. Nowhere does it say, "Beware, the pill can interfere with your romantic choices." Yet, according to some viral theories, the pill disrupts not only our bodies but also our romantic relationships.
A cocktail of hormones that leaves no one indifferent to the brain
While the scientific world is perfecting a hormone-free male contraceptive pill, women still have to make do with chemical formulas that have numerous harmful side effects, as if the sacrifice were in their genes. While the pill minimizes period pain and regulates our cycle to avoid unpleasant surprises on vacation, it also has its share of drawbacks. Just unfold the accompanying instruction leaflet to see for yourself. The paper is almost knee-deep and contains numerous warnings.
Beyond spotting, nausea, mood swings, and other red flags, the pill is also said to wreak havoc on our romances. No need to get out the magnifying glass; it's not one of the "official side effects." Yet, according to some online rumors, the pill could mislead us in our flirting and complicate our search for love. Far from acting as a love potion, the pill supposedly tends to change our attractions (and not necessarily for the better). The online alpha males believe the pill prevents us from absorbing testosterone and condemns us to stay with what they call "subhumans." Obviously, their argument doesn't hold water and mainly reflects a feeling of frustration. Fortunately, the scientific community has a more plausible explanation.
If the pill can affect libido and temporarily numb our desire, why couldn't it also alter our romantic preferences? A 2019 study published in Psychology Today raises a fascinating hypothesis: women on the pill might develop different partner preferences. For example, some research suggests that women taking the pill may be less sensitive to biological cues like scent. And as we know, natural body odor is more attractive than any artificial perfume.
Changes in preferences have been documented, but are not universal.
Men who propagate this belief and think they have all the answers about women's bodies, while still confusing the uterus and vagina, rely on small-scale studies. These studies, more psychological than biological, assume that the pill, by blocking ovulation, affects women's primal and instinctive attraction.
In other words, while on the pill, you prefer Harry Styles-like faces to Brad Pitt-like square jaws. According to them, it's not your lack of confidence that makes you choose a soft-bodied man over a bodybuilder with an athletic physique, but rather the pill's components. In other words, they imply that we select men like ripe fruit on a market stall: with our eyes and our sense of smell, not our minds. But we're no longer living in the Stone Age, a time when people sniffed each other like animals before mating.
Moreover, no large-scale study confirms any of this. According to Dr. Sarah Tang, interviewed in SELF , there is no proof that the pill diminishes interest in masculine men, nor even that our tastes actually change with our menstrual cycle. So there's no question of blaming the pill for all your romantic woes. Furthermore, masculinity is far from being a priority for women today. From their perspective, it doesn't reflect "good genes" but rather a symptom of patriarchy.
Falling in love isn't just a matter of square jaws.
As Dr. Tang rightly points out, we are more than just hormones and genes. Attraction, desire, compatibility—all of this goes far beyond genetic criteria or physical appearance. Just because someone has a "masculine" appearance doesn't mean they are healthier or more " compatible " with you. And thankfully, the success of a relationship doesn't depend on a face or physique.
Furthermore, not all women are attracted to men, and not all of them are trying to conceive. It is therefore risky to try to reduce love and desire to a rigid biological framework. And as Dr. Tang so aptly puts it: "You can find someone attractive, then hear them talk and suddenly feel nothing for you." What makes us fall in love is also shared values, kindness, humor, listening—in short, things that neither a pill nor a study can predict.
Even though the pill can sometimes cause problems and remains controversial, it's not responsible for your bad luck in love. If your partner irritates you at certain times, it's likely a reflection of PMS or a sign of erratic hormones.
