Can you count your friends on one hand? That's a good sign! It's better to have a few close and involved friends than twenty buddies who turn their backs on you more often than they offer you a helping hand. Science confirms this "less is more" theory in friendships. So if your group has drastically shrunk since middle school, don't feel guilty.
Having "too many friends" is not good for your health
During adolescence, having lots of friends is almost a marker of fame, a criterion of popularity. You want to find your place within a group, have a full lunch table, participate in group outings, and satisfy this deep desire for belonging. As a result, you have so many friends that you get their names mixed up. Friendships form and dissolve . The more years go by, the fewer friends you have in your address book. Those old buddies with whom you shared laughter and countless firsts become mere strangers.
Rest assured, if you've lost all your old friends along the way and only kept a few, it doesn't mean you're a has-been or unloved. On the contrary, the quality of friendships is worth more than the quantity. Given the choice, you'd certainly prefer to have two or three friends you can call at any hour of the night rather than a bunch of friends who break off contact as soon as you need help.
Having many friends might seem like a luxury during puberty, even a rite of passage, yet your mental health silently suffers. This is what a study conducted by American researchers on 169 adolescents between the ages of 15 and 25 demonstrates. These friendships, in addition to being superficial and fragile, weigh you down more than they enrich you.
Stress, isolation, and a lack of confidence form the backdrop.
The findings of this study are not surprising. People with few friends are more fulfilled and happy, while those with many are more prone to stress, anxiety, and self-esteem issues. Paradoxically, the more people you have around you, the less supported you feel. You may have already experienced this unpleasant feeling in the past: the impression of being like a ridiculous drop of water in the ocean.
You have people around you and several shoulders to lean on, but you feel the loneliness amplified. And generally, there's no emotional closeness, just superficial connections. Conversely, when you only have three or four friends, the chemistry is stronger and more palpable. These are the friends who lift you up when you're at your lowest, who understand you in silence, and who hold your hair back after a night of heavy drinking. According to another study, conducted by Robin Dunhar, an American psychologist, the number 5 is considered lucky in friendships. Something to think about.
Knowing when to say stop when friendship becomes a burden
Sometimes, friendships that were once a source of joy and support gradually become a burden. When the exchanges are unbalanced, when you give more than you receive, or when the relationship generates more stress than comfort, you have the right (and even the need) to create some distance. Acknowledging this discomfort is neither selfish nor cruel: it is often the first step toward a healthier relationship, both with others and with yourself.
Knowing when to say stop doesn't necessarily mean a sudden breakup. You can start by setting clear boundaries, sending fewer messages, or planning an honest conversation about how you feel. Preserving your emotional balance is essential: a friendship should never be a burden, but a space of respect, freedom, and mutual kindness.
Surround yourself with friends who recharge your batteries instead of draining them. True friendships aren't meant to be energy-draining, but rather stimulating and joyful. Your New Year's resolution? Do a little decluttering of your friendships .
