At Christmas, children receive mountains of gifts. So many, in fact, that you can't even see the base of the tree. You, the parents, silently fume at Santa Claus, who clearly doesn't know the meaning of the word "moderation." To avoid your loved ones arriving with a sack overflowing with presents and to maintain credibility in your minimalist approach, here are a few helpful tips from the experts.
Be clear from the start
Every year, it's the same scene under the colorful garlands. Countless packages are piled high on the floor, and relatives, with innocent expressions, blame Santa Claus . While in the past, children had to be content with an orange and a square of chocolate, today they have more gifts than they know what to do with.
As a parent, you strive to instill the spirit of Christmas in your children and the values that come with it: sharing, generosity, and kindness. Above all, you make them understand that it's not a materialistic holiday. You ask them to be reasonable with their Christmas wish list. But then, your relatives arrive at your doorstep laden with gifts, handing over toys the children didn't even ask for.
There's no need to raise your eyebrows like an inverted triangle and adopt an accusatory air. If you want your loved ones to stop spoiling your children so much, give them a heads-up, about a month in advance. And there's no need to organize a crisis meeting in the family living room. Opt for a less formal approach, perhaps over coffee, or send a polite text message.
Don't forget to use proper form
Introduce the topic subtly. The idea is simple: wrap your message in bubble wrap to avoid being too direct or too much of a killjoy. As experts recommend in the HuffPost , you could, for example, mention an article about the excess of gifts at Christmas to get the message across gently.
Diane Gottsman, author of "Modern Etiquette for a Better Life" and founder of "The Protocol School of Texas," suggests an even more humane approach. "Could you donate the money you would have spent on a gift to someone less fortunate? Or you could even make a donation on their behalf."
Give them a gift list
You've probably already received or created a baby registry , a helpful guide to ensure loved ones choose the right gifts. Why not do the same for Christmas? At least it avoids unnecessary purchases and encourages useful presents. In their Christmas lists , children tend to ask for anything and everything: from a remote-controlled car that will break after five uses to a microscope that will gather dust in a cupboard. Experts even suggest the option of experiments as an alternative to gifts. If your child is passionate about baking, why not pool your money to send them a class?
Create new traditions
Why not have a Secret Santa exchange as a family? You know, that game where you blindly draw the recipient's name. It's not just an open-plan office ritual, and it can curb excessive generosity. Or, why not establish a "homemade" rule, guaranteeing gifts with strong sentimental value? The idea? Create a gift with your own hands, whether using recycled materials, crepe paper, or family photos. It's the best way to get your loved ones to stop spoiling the children too much.
Show empathy
Even if these unsolicited gifts annoy you, put yourself in the shoes of the people giving them. Sure, you don't know where you'll put them and you worry your child will forget them as soon as they're unwrapped, but for your loved ones, it might be a token of affection. It comes from a good place. "Sometimes, people say 'I love you' through gifts and place great importance on the holiday season and presents," notes Jodi RR Smith, president of Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting.
And above all, say "thank you"
It's a rule of etiquette you teach your children all day long. This little magic word, as you like to call it, isn't optional. Even if you've asked your loved ones not to spoil your children too much, they are ultimately in charge of their decision (and in cahoots with the elves). The Christmas season can sometimes be tense, and you might be tempted to respond defensively with "he already has everything he needs" or "there was no need to buy a gift." Accept this present with gratitude and appreciation.
There's no magic formula to get your loved ones to stop spoiling your children so much at Christmas and to show some restraint. Perhaps for them, it's a way of making up for what they never had.
