The only day men receive flowers is at their funerals. A sad fact highlighted in a recent study. Flowers, often presented as a feminine gift, don't seem compatible with imposed codes of masculinity. For Father's Day, it's time to swap the stereotypical toolbox for a beautiful bouquet. A chance to cultivate a new, tender tradition and bury the era of toxic masculinity.
When men only receive flowers at their funerals
While women don't need a special occasion to receive bouquets with kind words on their doorsteps, men receive flowers with the inscription "rest in peace" or "tender thoughts." They are no longer of this world to receive them and marvel at their beauty. The only floral arrangements dedicated to them are limited to chrysanthemums and funeral vases with banners signifying a flight to heaven.
According to a survey conducted by a flower delivery service, 88% of men receive their first bouquet at their funeral. The others only see one upon retirement or during a hospital stay. Carefully arranged bouquets are placed on granite tombstones, but they are rarely left on the kitchen table, like fleeting tokens of our love.
Why wait until a man's death to make this bucolic declaration? Certainly because, in the collective imagination, flowers embody fragility, gentleness, and sensitivity—the very antonyms of virility . Flowers are the tangible illustration of romance, clutched in the palms of budding gentlemen and offered as a silent "I love you" to the women in their lives.
While men regularly visit the florist to spoil their sweetheart or mother, they almost never receive anything in return. Instead, they're often given flasks personalized with their name, craft beer kits, or DIY tools. These familiar gifts are more in line with societal expectations than a profusion of roses or a medley of wildflowers.
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It's time to put an end to outdated gender norms
On Valentine's Day or other special occasions, men jostle for position at the florist's, and these images elicit tender glances. Seeing a man strolling with a bouquet slung over his shoulder, his field of vision obscured by a profusion of leaves, is almost like something out of a chivalric romance. In romantic films and advertisements, flowers always come from men, as if they couldn't possibly be the recipients. Men's only consolation prize is a few cuttings to plant in their garden or some aromatic herbs for their windowsill. Bouquets, on the other hand, only ever reach their hands to end up in someone else's.
At a time when women get down on one knee to propose marriage and daughters treat their fathers to spa treatments or facials, the roles are slowly but surely reversing. Giving a man flowers instead of a shaving kit or the ever-present chainsaw isn't just a way of expressing affection in the language of plants. It's also about cultivating a more peaceful and less brutal masculinity. It's also about unearthing emotions previously buried under a mountain of "be strong" and "don't cry."
And contrary to what the obscure forums of the manosphere claim, flowers aren't "just for the weak." According to a study from Rutgers University, men who receive flowers "exhibit increased sociability and greater happiness." Far from being a poison that numbs men's power, flowers are, on the contrary, an inexhaustible source of well-being. They spread joy wherever they go.
A gift that takes root in the hands of male stars
While women are quite direct about expressing their desire for petals and readily point out when their vase is empty, men remain more reserved. For them, it's still a sensitive subject. Fortunately, public figures are leading the way, their arms laden with stems and their faces hidden behind clumps of leaves resembling a jungle. Jeremy Allen White, the iconic actor from the series "The Bear," was the main instigator of this progressive movement, the emblem of this floral reappropriation.
Captured in March 2024 with an oversized wildflower bouquet over his shoulder and another in a Scottish basket, he spontaneously won the hearts of female viewers, who applauded this image, the antithesis of the emotionally unreadable bad boy. This candid photo reveals a different kind of masculinity, less controlled, more flexible . It's easy to imagine the future of these flowers: arranged in a vase, they'll take pride of place amidst homemade dishes. To be a man and display flowers is to say to the world, "I reject old patriarchal beliefs" and "I find pleasure in ways other than a pint."
Rock icon Bruce Springsteen, for his part, presented Shane MacGowan, the frontman of The Pogues, with a bouquet of white roses. Proof that even metalheads in leather jackets break with tradition and exchange flowers instead of 60% ABV bottles.
Giving flowers to a man is still not the norm. However, men are taking the initiative and succumbing to the charm of peonies, sunflowers, and lilies displayed in shop windows. According to a 2021 survey by the Dutch Flower and Plant Foundation, 22% of men buy themselves flowers every month.
