What if your ex became your best recommendation? In China, a surprising trend is shaking up the rules of dating: singles are recommending their exes as if they were a talent to be recruited. An unconventional idea, but one that reveals a new way of looking at love.
Exes presented as candidates… for happiness
On Chinese social media, some young adults are revisiting breakups with a distinctly creative flair. After an amicable separation, they post a "profile" of their former partner to help them find love again. Age, height, profession, passions, personality traits, endearing qualities, and charming little "flaws": everything is included. The reasons for the breakup are also detailed, often with candor and kindness. Long-distance relationship, differing life plans, imperfect timing… nothing dramatic, simply an incompatibility.
The initiative reportedly gained momentum after an internet user jokingly asked for an "internal recommendation" to find a boyfriend, using professional jargon. Very quickly, other users joined in. The result: exes presented as serious candidates, with a tone that oscillated between self-deprecation and a genuine desire to help.
A sentimental CV, Chinese style
Some posts resemble veritable love CVs. Structured sections, location, year of birth, profession, personality, interests… all meticulously written. Even more original: "experience reports" based on several years of relationship. A subtle way of saying: "I know him/her well, I can vouch for his/her reliability." The former partner thus becomes a kind of moral guarantor, able to attest to the other's kindness, loyalty, or stability.
In a world where images are often filtered, embellished, and staged, this transparency is appealing. You are no longer faced with a simple flattering description, but with an external, nuanced, and human perspective.
A response to dating app fatigue
Behind the playful facade lies a deeper reality: a certain weariness with dating apps. Many singles express their distrust of "too perfect" profiles, embellished information, or disappointing experiences. In this context, an ex becomes a source of information perceived as more authentic. After all, who better than someone who has shared someone's life can speak about their listening skills, conflict resolution abilities, or capacity for commitment?
Some accounts even suggest that relationships have blossomed thanks to these recommendations. Internet users report contacting a former partner they "verified" online and discovering a genuine compatibility. Proof that love can sometimes begin with simple word-of-mouth... version 2.0.
Between humor, self-deprecation and a benevolent gaze
This phenomenon is also appealing because of its tone. Many describe their exes humorously, sometimes as "second-hand items," alluding to a slight "emotional wear and tear" with a knowing wink. Beyond the jokes, a more body-positive message emerges: each person is presented in their uniqueness, with their strengths and vulnerabilities. Kindness, sensitivity, perseverance, and generosity are valued. Flaws are not demonized; they become human traits, contextual, sometimes simply incompatible with a particular relationship.
This approach reminds us that the end of a relationship doesn't mean someone "isn't worthwhile." On the contrary: you can be a wonderful person and not be a good match for someone at a particular time. This doesn't diminish your worth in any way.
A new way of looking at breaking up
To recommend an ex, a peaceful separation is necessary. This trend highlights an interesting shift: breakups are no longer necessarily seen as dramatic failures, but rather as an acknowledgment of incompatibility. It's possible to deeply appreciate someone, recognize their qualities, and accept that paths diverge. This more mature and less guilt-inducing perspective opens the door to a different interpretation of love stories: you learn, you evolve, you grow.
It remains to be seen whether this practice will become a lasting phenomenon or remain a viral trend. One thing is certain: by transforming exes into "role models," these young Chinese are redefining the rules of the dating game. Between pragmatism and irony, they raise a crucial question: in a world saturated with idealized images, isn't trust the new luxury in matters of the heart?
